Even for adults, the sting of knowing that others are different from ourselves, or are better at something, can tempt us toward negativity. Gifted students understand this all too well.
Workplace bullying has become nearly as observable as schoolyard bullying, with many of the same, social, drives – of envy, desire for advancement, and desire for approval – being observed.
If adults can’t seem to resist this temptation to act hatefully toward their coworkers, how much less can we expect developing adolescents to manage it while at school?
The Role of Bullies
In a scholarly article examining the psychology behind adolescent bullying, certain factors can be specifically applied to the experience of our gifted students.
For instance, it is noted that children who are less socially engaged are among those who become targets for bullies. As our gifted children are not operating at the same intellectual level as their peers, it naturally follows that they would have a hard time engaging with them.
This inability to relate can be interpreted, by socially integrated children, as anything from awkwardness to snobbery.
For children with a tendency to bully, they may see it as their own, personal, task to highlight this social inadequacy. They seem to believe that, through pointing out this social difference, they will become more accepted by the group, themselves.
There is also the age-old factor of envy at play.
Envy is different from jealousy, in that jealousy only wishes to keep something that it already has. Envy is the drive which prompts a person to go out and take what it wants, or, at the least, prevent someone else from having it.
Stories of envious characters bullying – and even murdering – those more gifted, talented, and beautiful than themselves permeate our classical literature. It is somehow reasoned, by those who are envious, that getting rid of the competition is the best way to increase their own status.
For the bully, it can often be the case that he or she sees the gifted child as possessing benefits that the bullying child feels angry over not having.
It may be the intellectual ability that the bully is aware of lacking. It may be that the bullying child observes the extra support and concern that the gifted child is receiving from parents and teachers, and compares it to his or her own adult support system.
Whichever the envious motive, the reasoning behind the bullying is that, through making the gifted child miserable, the bullying child will feel better.
As adults, we are able to discern that this tactic does not, at all, produce the results that such bullies are craving. Those who bully are commonly found to experience lifelong problems, such as developing anxiety and depression disorders.
Interestingly, these are the same type of psychological problems which are often observed in those who have been bullied, leading one to hypothesize that there is an underlying desire, on behalf of the bullies, to spread the misery that they carry to others.
In order for a bully to operate successfully, there must be some kind of consistent reward for the behavior. An environment which rewards ostracizing behavior is the bully’s ecosystem. This social reward for punishing outliers can be present as respect, admiration, or fear.
In many cases, only a few admirers are needed for the bully to continue to feed his or her ego through the behavior. Even the inaction of those around can be interpreted, by the bully, as a form of silent approval.
This dynamic highlights the importance of intervention on behalf of concerned adults and compassionate peers, who are encouraged to step in, and speak up, when bullying behavior is observed.
The Role of Gifted Students
One of the hallmarks of forming friendships is the factor of shared interests and activities.
For many gifted children, their interests are far beyond those of their schoolyard peers. While peers are concerned with the latest social trends, the gifted student is more interested in learning about the theory of relativity.
Being a child often means that there are less opportunities to seek out others who are alike in interests. It is most often that children at a school are forced to only choose from what is immediately available. This can mean slim pickings for the gifted child, and can result in an experience of social isolation.
Being socially isolated is a red flag for bullies to charge at.
Studies also indicate that, while gifted students may be highly proficient in the academia which is presented in the school setting, their emotional and social development may simultaneously be at – or even below – peer levels. The school environment – for better or worse – is as much about learning to interact with the social culture as it is about academia.
If the gifted child is in a school where social skills are more highly valued than mental processing power, they can become a prime target for bullies.
Gifted students may be tempted to react to the bullying in compromising ways. Your student may begin to:
- Show signs of decreasing interest in academic subjects.
- Experiment with changing appearance.
- Lean toward becoming a bully, oneself.
In observing that bullies are rewarded, the gifted child may reason that behaving in such a way, toward others, is the solution for the problem. These various tactics are some of the troublesome ways that the gifted child attempts to adapt to the culture he or she is immersed in.
The most obvious solution for putting an end to the gifted student’s plight toward learning to adapt to a hostile environment is to remove the child from it.
While there are benefits to teaching a child to learn to navigate the complexities of social interactions while young, there is also a point where this learning opportunity becomes more of a risk than a benefit. Being exposed to overwhelmingly negative experiences during childhood can set a course for future difficulties in adjustment.
If your gifted student is being bullied, you may consider finding an alternative route for encouraging his or her continued success. There may be benefit in enrolling your student into a different program.