Since gifted children often tend to be quickly defined by their exceptionalism, they may experience anxiety and concern over where they fit. Others might struggle to fit in with peer social groups or develop at rates different from other children their age. Working on emotional maturity for the gifted is just as vital as scholastic challenges or development of their exceptionalism.
One way to encourage this is to emphasize gratitude. While adults have long been exhorted to keep gratitude journals so as to positively impact their personal growth and outlook on life, less emphasis has been placed on this abstract concept for children. Depending on your child’s age and means of giftedness, certain strategies can be useful in helping your exceptional student understand, show, and embrace gratitude.
Here are some ways to foster a gratitude-forward life in your gifted or twice-exceptional child.
Tangible Measures
Some gifted students, although exceptional in math, literal thinking, or understanding of verifiable concepts, may struggle with abstract thinking. They could feel unmoored, uncomfortable, or even frustrated and angry when simply presented with the command to “have some gratitude.”
For these STEM-first children, working with their giftedness rather than against it is vital. Although some cannot imagine quantifying such a concept as gratitude, modelling this idea might just be the key to helping a linear child understand it.
Using scientific, mathematical, or measurable terms is useful for children who are gifted in this way. For example, ask the child to think about actions he or she should be grateful for in specific terms: Rather than emphasizing why the child should appreciate a certain action or gift, prompt the child to work out costs, outcomes, intent, and sacrifice.
It can also be helpful to, for example, refer to scientific studies which demonstrate that the conscious decision to dedicate resources to another at the cost of the self is a mark of humanity and social complexity. Discussing psychological theories, brain chemistry, and changeable behavior can also lead a literal thinker to connect with these ideas.
Gifted-Friendly Gratitude Journals
While adults of all abilities can usually grasp the concept of gratitude journals, linearly gifted children may balk at the concept. Verbally gifted students will probably embrace this kind of challenge with abandon, but what about a young scientist?
Giving a gifted child the ability to choose the way he or she expresses him or herself is critical. Again, focusing on the scientific evidence bolstering the worth of gratitude journaling might help a scientific thinker to find a way to express him or herself in this manner, as well reminding a talented athlete that the Journal of Applied Sports Psychology recently published a study asserting that gratitude fosters strong self-esteem, which is vital in honing performance abilities in stressful situations. Visual artists can draw, create a single-panel comic, or paint.
Sometimes, a structurally gifted child might freeze up at the open-ended nature of an adult asking him or her to “think about what you’re grateful for,” so specific prompts such as “What about anything you ate today are you thankful for?” can be helpful. And since many modern children may recoil at a blank page and a pen, they could consider typing a document, expressing gratitude through computer coding, song composition, graphic arts, or finding a fictional or historical figure with whom to match up their feelings (“When Iron Man saved Captain America after he fell out of the helicopter, Captain America shook his hand and said thank you. That’s kind of like how Dad left his work trip to pick me up from school when I was sick.”)
Gratitude journals are also a way to spur a gifted learner who is hyper-focused on measurable achievement or perfectionism to separate expression of their giftedness from specific accomplishments. This can help the child to appreciate him or herself, as well as the surrounding environment, without judgement or grading. If a child insists on some form of measurement, however, awarding stickers or small treats after a successfully completed journal entry might help.
Kindness for No Personal Gain
Emphasizing that even the smallest actions can help others is useful to gifted children, who are usually complex thinkers no matter the nature of their gift. Using positive reinforcement when they participate in showing kindness helps to emphasize its importance. For example, if a child helps a younger sibling get dressed or an older sibling with homework, specifically stating the positive effects of such an action can foster feelings of ownership and participation in a family or community (“Because you tied your little sister’s shoes, we were able to leave the house faster, and we had more time to spend in the grocery. Now I’m able to make dinner for everyone on time. Thank you for helping to make that happen.”)
Making it clear to gifted children that they have a choice to treat others well is also important. Since some exceptional children may chafe at following structured orders or sets of rules, this concept will likely be welcome to them.
Service Projects
Service projects can not only emphasize the importance of gratitude and civic involvement, they can create an opportunity for a gifted child to mix with other exceptional children, trading ideas and developing social skills. A visually talented child who is enjoys filmmaking can create a video thanking the veterans of his community, for instance, involving along the way an exceptional musician, a gifted writer, an advanced graphics artist, and a history whiz who can find local people to interview. Or, a fundraising effort might prove a welcome challenge to a mathematically gifted child, who can then test people management skills and sales tactics.
Such team efforts are not only a benefit to the recipients, they are also a laboratory for passionate and gifted children to test their gifts in ways outside the classroom. Service projects can also help exceptional children to mix intergenerationally, as well as with children who are of different ages. They also encourage analytical thinking, self-reliance, and time management.
