Parents are the stewards of their children’s education. They prepare their children for school and enroll them in the school they decide is best for them. They stay abreast of their children’s progress as they advance from grade to grade. Parents also monitor general levels of interest and involvement in school activities.
If the child is gifted and talented, or is special in some way, there are more educational decisions to be made and more plans to be prepared. Independent educational programs might be needed or special services provided.
While a child might not be aware of all the support he needs in school, he can talk to his parents about his feelings, and the parents can explain the educational plan and any service program that might accompany it.
As any child begins the education process, and begins to formulate a better understanding of her own interests, strengths and educational needs, her parents can start to ask about goals and share hopes and expectations for educational attainment.
In almost any aspect of educational development, a child should feel empowered to participate in the decisions that will affect his ability to learn and grow and thrive in a competitive world. Parents should be aware of this natural desire for self-determination and encourage the child’s involvement in decision-making.
Sharing goals about future education
Parents have expectations for their children. They may expect their children to finish high school and attend a college or vocational school to fulfill their children’s dreams.
Communicating this expectation and discussing the power of education can be a stimulant to achieving it. Parents can start early with their children, even at the kindergarten level, to talk about the importance of learning and the value of education.
Parents and children can discuss thoughts on hopes and dreams and what will happen after high school. What kind of future does the child anticipate? Will she want a career in some profession or will he want vocational training?
Ongoing discussions about school subjects and topics and how they relate to current events or parent experiences, child hobbies or outside interests, can keep education relevant and the child motivated to keep learning.
Parents can share decision-making on study habits and times including increased reading time and decreased electronic screen time. Children can share decisions on home responsibilities or outside jobs. They can decide on spending extra time in school to get more help.
Parents can discuss day to day study routines and remind their children from time to time on the big picture, the ultimate goals the children are striving for.
Friendships and support structures can be shared because they have an impact on educational and social development. Choosing good friends who share some of the same aspirations is an important decision throughout school life.
School organizations are realizing more and more that decisions affecting a child’s education should be a family affair. Teachers collaborate with parents and students to affect a unified program of learning. Schools often provide role playing activities to give students experience in what parents are thinking and how to interact on school discussions.
Making shared decisions about current educational programs
After the child begins school, there are a number of situations and factors which may suggest that the current course of action in school may not be the right one, or that there appears to be some interference with the child’s ability to grow and prosper. This is a signal for needed parent and child discussion.
The child may or may not be happy at school. He or she may be successful or may be having problems that interfere with the child’s ability to study and learn or with social acceptance. This school may not be right for your child.
What does the child think about his or her school experience? Is some kind of change warranted? The only way to know for sure how a child feels about school is to ask her. And if a decision has to be made regarding some aspect of the education environment, the child should be part of the decision-making process.
Signs that discussions are needed
There are many signs that would indicate a change is needed in your child’s current school system. If your child says he hates school, you need to find out why. If she associates with only a few friends, discuss why she can’t relate to a broader audience. Can she effectively relate to adults or is that a problem?
Does your child feel frustrated on how he is being treated, either by teachers or other students? Does he feel that his problems are being dealt with fairly? Are school resolutions explained to him? If he is a gifted child, does the school offer the opportunities he needs without adverse peer reactions?
If your child comes home from school tired and disinterested? This could mean she is exhausted from an emotional day or has not been getting the kind of instruction that energizes and builds on curiosity.
Children who love music or art often feel frustrated because the school system does not offer these programs or minimizes them. If your child is wishing he could play an instrument or learn how to use oil paints, perhaps you should discuss alternate forms of education or a different school.
If your child does not feel challenged and is just going through the motions on mundane classwork and homework, you may want to probe further to find out why there is no consideration for the furthering of individual interests and talents.
Gifted children, especially, need to pursue their own obsessions and delve deeply into the areas that stimulate their curiosity. They want as much information as possible from as many sources as are available to satisfy their hunger for details and explanations.
And speaking of giftedness, if your child is special in some way, has autism or ADHD, how is she being managed at school? If the school nurse or psychologist reacts to hyperactivity and “acting out” by prescribing a drug like Ritalin, you should definitely have a discussion with both your child and the school administration. The behavior issues should be for a doctor to prescribe a treatment.
Empowerment and decision-making ability
Asking your child to participate in educational decisions assumes that the child is capable of making a decision of this importance. Good school systems teach students how to make good decisions. But schools alone can’t to the job.
Has the child been trained at home on how to make decisions? Empowering your child is a process that starts early with activities that teach right from wrong and involve responsibility and accountability.
Empowerment includes having the right to fail. Failure and how to respond to it are valuable teaching experiences. Raising good decision-makers is important, not just for education, for success in life.
Teaching your child to make appropriate choices will help him develop confidence, organization and prioritizing skills. It will help prevent problems frim wrong choices or indecisiveness.
Children learn to make decisions by watching their parents and talking with their parents. First of all, you need to learn to be a good listener. You also need to make good decisions yourself. If you can then raise your children to be effective and confident decision-makers, then you should definitely involve them in their own educational future and make family discussions a basic principle in your home.
