Bullying has gone viral. No longer limited to pushing and shoving, it has taken to the airways and cable lines to become a major technology problem affecting millions of children nationwide. Cyberbullying has become a serious threat to the physical and emotional well-being of all its victims.
Cyberbullying comes in many forms, including cell phones, tablets, and computers. It appears in emails and text messages, on websites and especially social sites, and in online chat features.
Cyberbullying can involve mean text messages or emails, embarrassing photos or videos, fake profiles and more.
It can be devastating to those children being targeted and can have lasting effects on their fear of physical harm as well as self-image and confidence. It can lead to a life of depression and worse.
Why We Should Care About Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying can occur anytime, night or day, when a child is alone. Messages can be posted anonymously. Distribution is immediate and extensive. It can be very difficult if not impossible to trace the source. Deleting the offensive messages can be difficult as well.
The 2015 School Time Supplement to the National Crime Victimization Survey reported that nationwide, about 21 percent of students ages 12-18 experienced bullying.
The 2015 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) estimated that 16 percent of high school students were bullied electronically in the year prior to the survey.
There have been a lot more studies on this important topic, some of them referenced by dosomething.org. As reported there, nearly 43 percent of children have been bullied online. One in four said it happened twice.
- 70 percent of students say they saw frequent bullying online.
- Cell phones are a common source of cyberbullying with over 80 percent of teens using them.
- 68 percent of teenagers agree that cyberbullying is a serious problem. However, only one in ten victims actually report an abuse to a parent or trusted adult.
- Here is a very sobering statistic: victims of cyberbullying are two to nine times more likely to consider suicide.
Signs of Cyberbullying
There are several possible signs that your child is being bullied:
- Your child becomes anxious when he or she receives an email, text or IM.
- She becomes distressed or angry after a call or after being on the Internet.
- She withdraws from family and friends and doesn’t want to participate in family activities.
- She doesn’t want to go to school or to a certain class or is avoiding some school activity.
- Her grades have suddenly dropped without an apparent explanation.
- She is becoming more secretive about her communications or activities.
- Her mood has changed, she has lost her appetite, or she has trouble sleeping.
If you see any of these behaviors, it is a good idea to sit down and have a talk with your child.
How Parents Can Stop Cyberbullying Before It Starts
The best way to minimize the effects of being bullied and reduce the chances of being bullied in the first place is to teach your children some basic guidelines with regard to bullying.
Teaching About Cyberbullying
- Tell your children to never post personal information on the Internet, including name, address, phone number, school, parent’s names, credit card information or Social Security card information.
- Advise your children to never share their passwords with anyone but you.
- Let other students know they are against bullying and encourage their friends to stop.
- Tell them to never participate in bullying situations; never pass along messages or photos.
- Tell them to delete any messages they do get and block the sender.
- Advise them to be as polite and courteous online as they are in person.
Behavior Monitoring
- There are also some things you can do, besides talking with your child, to be in a better position to watch for possible problems and keep them from happening,
- Where does your child use a computer? If you can place it in a central, busier place, it would be better than your child having a laptop or tablet in his or her bedroom.
- If there is a laptop in use, limit bedtime access.
- Ask your child to share her passwords and know what social sites she uses.
- Find out how to use tracking software or other filters that can block inappropriate Internet content.
- Know the people your child communicates with by seeing her address book and any messaging “buddies.”
- Ask your child to let you or some other trusted adult know when a cyber bully is at work and your child receives a threat. Tell her you are not judging her, and she will not lose computer or tablet privileges.
Tips for Parents on Responding to Cyberbullying Incidents
If your child is being bullied, and hopefully she tells you about it, there is some advice you can give and some things you can monitor to protect her.
- First of all, tell your child to not respond to any bullying activities. This would just make matters worse and draw your child into a web of deceit.
- Have your child answer only callers and numbers she knows.
- If online, sign off. Get offline as fast as possible. If using Messenger, use the application’s blocking feature.
- Have your child save all emails. You can forward them to your Internet provider and report the emails as bullying. Also, save screenshots of websites.
- Help your child adjust privacy settings on social sites.
- Have your child change contact information, remove any personal information, and change passwords.
- If the bully is a known classmate, discuss with your child whether she wants you to contact the bully’s parents or whether your child wants to handle it directly. Either way, you should follow up.
- Report any bullying incident to school officials if appropriate.
- Report any threats of physical violence or inappropriate sexual messages to the police for possible law violation and criminal action.
Encourage your child to take a break from the Internet and from social sites. Spend more time with friends that are supportive and share her values. Do the things outside school that she likes to do. Encourage exercise, walking, sports, meditation, and other activities that reduce stress.
Work with school officials and learn what programs they offer to combat bullying.
By being involved in a supportive, loving way, you can do a lot to protect your child from cyber bullying. Through observation, discussion, overall awareness of the issue, and the monitoring you do, you can help your child as an interested and devoted parent.
