We live in a world designed to acknowledge the outgoing, social, person. We also live in a world that is designed for the average, accommodating, individual. These two factors can make the task of fostering an introverted, gifted, child quite the challenge.
The most wide-spread conception of an introverted person is that the individual is shy. The actual characteristics of someone on the introversion side of the equation are much more complex. If you notice that your gifted child follows a pattern of retreating into solitude after social interactions, you may be the parent of an introvert.
What Does Introversion Mean?
The idea of inward, and outward, orientation to the world was most fully explored by the famous psychologist, Carl Jung. His framework for personality encompassed variations which lie along a continuum, meaning that one can be fully introverted, only moderately so, or not at all. He noted that the introverted person may have a difficult time with meeting societal expectations for interactions, as such individuals are prone toward consulting themselves – and their own thinking – before relying on outside input.
What this means is that an introverted child has his or her own ideas about the way that the world works, and how it should work. The fact that the outside world doesn’t often align with these ideas can be a source of frustration. The hallmark of the introvert is that, when frustrated, this individual will withdraw from interactions, for the purpose of gathering up thoughts, recharging energy levels, and preparing for another round of imposing exchanges.
Identifying Gifted
While there are many forms of gifts available, the academic world is prone to separate us by our measure of rational intelligence. The intelligence quotient (IQ) for even a moderately gifted person is believed to range around 40 points above the norm. Short of an IQ test, schools will tend to gauge whether a child is exceptional on the basis of academic achievement. A child who regularly earns top scores on tests, and brings home top marks on the report card, is likely to be placed in an available program for gifted children. A child who demonstrates active leadership, or excels in the arts, is often similarly categorized, but on the basis of having a gift which contributes to the culture of the society, at large.
The U.S. Department of Education defines gifted as, “Children and youth with outstanding talent who perform or show the potential for performing at remarkably high levels of accomplishment when compared with others of their age, experience, or environment.” You may have your own definition of what it encompasses, but demonstrated abilities which exceed those of age-similar peers is the standard.
Common Difficulties In Parenting
My Child Doesn’t Like School
When listing some of the most gifted individuals of our age, which persons come to mind? Top contenders usually include Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Elon Musk. What is one aspect that these four people have in common? They all dropped out of school.
Participation in the structured institution of education can be a particularly daunting task for the introverted, gifted, child. Most schools are designed to deliver instruction to students of a broad range of capabilities, and they tend to center their efforts around the average IQ. Furthermore, the very nature of group participation and teamwork is antithesis for introverts, resulting in conditions where they not only fail to have opportunity to stretch their abilities, but they are also drained of energy in the process.
My Child Doesn’t Want to Participate in Activities
More than ever before, our culture encourages social activity. Effective parenting is considered to include extracurricular activities, most of which involve interaction with peers. If you have read this far, you already understand the dilemma this paradigm presents for the introverted child. In a world which places value on the importance of socializing, the introverted gifted child is at a distinct disadvantage. Sports, church activities, and outings can be viewed as dreaded chores.
The introverted, gifted, child is fighting on two fronts when it comes to extracurricular activities. The first challenge lies in the concept of peers. For those in the gifted category, finding genuine peers means more than interacting with others in his or her age group. There is likely to be a large gap in communication and understanding between your child and others, which is a frustrating experience for anyone. The second challenge lies in the tendency of social interaction to be a draining experience on the introvert. Extracurricular activities can create the same unfavorable conditions for the gifted introvert that public school produces.
Parenting Tips for Introverted Children
Some of the best advice for any parent is to learn to work with – and not against – a child’s strengths. In the case of an introverted child, the first step is to accurately identify him or her as such. Once the characteristics of an introvert are understood, many of the frustrations surrounding attempts to motivate your child toward extroversion will make rational sense. A handy site for learning more about the qualities of an introvert can be found at 16personalities.com. The definitions employed at this site are quite similar to the personality studies produced by Carl Jung.
With the gifted quality assumed, and with knowledge of the characteristics of an introvert in hand, you are armed with the ability to arrange an environment for your child which will maximize his or her potential. Encouraging your child to explore areas of interest which allow for independent work is preferred, so that your child’s energy is not counter-productively expended on excessive socializing.
Short of paying for the tuition of a private school for gifted children, online and charter schools may provide the perfect solution for your child’s academic woes. Several states have charter options that will not only provide customized curriculum, based on your child’s abilities, but will also often provide funds for customized extracurricular undertakings. While the introverted child may not appreciate participation in group activities, such funds can often be used for one-on-one lessons in an area of your child’s interest.
