Having a gifted child can be an extremely rewarding sensation. Parents of exceptional children are often overheard bragging on their gifted child’s interests and achievements, while relating parents of gifted children lend their applause. The abilities of our gifted children tend to reflect as our own accomplishment, whether there is rational basis for our taking of credit, or not.
As rewarding as it can be, the experience of having a gifted child in the family is not all roses. The amount of investment, accommodation, and adjustment which can be required of the family can be extensive and expensive. Helping our little stars to shine at their brightest potential can become the equivalent of a full-time job.
Gifted Children Require More Resources
Whether or not intelligence levels are dependent upon genetic makeup, intelligence is definitively fostered through exposure. Even a child of more average intelligence can become well rounded, articulate, and diverse in interests, due to exposure to a wide range of academic and experiential curriculum. A gifted child not only benefits from this exposure, but he or she is likely to critically need it.
The mind of a gifted child is like a sponge. To remove the intellectual stimulation from a gifted child is like taking a sponge out of water. Their drive, creativity, and curiosity can begin to wither and dry up. A gifted child without inspiration can end up feeling depressed, hopeless, and directionless.
A gifted child without appropriate resources – catered to fit his or her unique interests and perspectives – can lose focus on the bigger picture. Instances of depression in the gifted population are common enough to provoke studies toward the causes. Much of the literature points toward the depressed, gifted, child determining that he or she is a social anomaly, and deciding that this planet is not a good fit.
Meeting the intellectual and social needs of a gifted child can require more time, effort, and money than meeting the needs of an averagely-oriented child. Finding the proper source of academic education can become a lengthy journey, and the costs of obtaining such education, once located, can be prohibitive. It does not help that the needs of gifted children are often severely underserved within the public school system.
Socialization opportunities, for the gifted child, also need to include a carefully selected group of peers. Failure to locate a means of social support for your gifted child which includes others of a similar mental capacity can result in your gifted child feeling intellectually isolated. Unless a parent happens to own a home next to the NASA Space Camp, finding practical solutions toward meeting such socialization needs can be as difficult as finding a proper school.
Parents Can Feel Ineffective
There are some studies which suggest that intelligence levels are inherited, and others which find no genes which can be singled out as contributing. Parents who possess a high IQ, themselves, are likely to favor the first angle. For parents who have no idea how they managed to bring such a prodigy into this world, the second scenario is probably more relatable.
Whether a parent is highly intelligent, or closer to average, it can be difficult to consistently meet the expectations of a gifted child throughout the asynchronous phases of his or her development. While the average child can be expected to proceed through a series of linear milestones, gifted children can tend to skip over some, while excelling in others. Meeting the developmental needs of a gifted child can require a substantial parental investment of time and energy.
With all of those smarts at their disposal, gifted children can sometimes flabbergast with their displays of immaturity. While excelling in areas of academics, gifted children are prone toward neglecting the natural course of development in emotional regulation. Not only are emotions often disregarded as a byproduct of existence by the intellectual, they are also experienced more acutely.
This contradiction of perspective and experience can result in a lack of development in emotional intelligence, and can manifest as temper tantrums; anger outbursts; and meltdowns. A lack of emotional regulation as required for interpersonal relation skills can negatively affect the entire family, and can leave a parent at wits end.
The gifted child is also prone to ask a never-ending series of questions, designed to get to the root of logical justification for the simplest of requests. A gifted child may fail to find value in cultural traditions and norms, deeming them archaic and inapplicable for our current times. What worked for the parents, during their own childhoods, may be completely ineffective when attempting to communicate the importance of compliance to the gifted child.
Answering their inquiries of the necessity of propriety with accuracy and tact can mean hours spent in debate. Even the most supportive parent can end up feeling exhausted over the task.
Siblings Can Feel Slighted
Unless a parent has managed to produce a crop of high achievers, having a gifted child in the family can be a source of psychological struggle for the siblings. Accounts of sibling rivalry are as old as time, and show no sign of disappearing.
With all of the resources devoted to the successful fostering of the gifted child’s abilities, siblings with a more normal orientation toward life can begin to feel as though they are of less value. They may feel as though they are not able to meet the standards which are set by the gifted child, and so find no point in even trying to achieve.
Many parents attempt to accommodate the needs of a less intellectually gifted sibling to feel valued by emphasizing the importance of differences. It has been suggested that this method is counterproductive, as it is prone to limit the aspirations of each child through association with a singular ability. A more effective approach toward mitigating sibling differences is to teach each child to support, cheer on, and praise the other, without emphasis on a particular set of achievements.
