It can be stressful to meet the needs of gifted children at any time of year. Ensuring that their intellectual, social, educational, and emotional requirements are all met can easily wear on parents, caregivers, and educators. Many of these adult supporters are often stretched to the limit from Halloween through New Year’s due to disrupted schedules, holiday visitors, constant parties, and increased sugar intake.
Due to the phenomenon of asynchronous development, which refers to the tendency of gifted children to develop at varying rates compared to their peers, the holidays can present special challenges for gifted children, their siblings, and those who care for them. The best way to face the holiday season is with foreknowledge and pre-planning.
Establish Clear, Realistic Expectations
Realistic expectations for parents as well as their gifted children and siblings are a must all year long, but especially during this stressful time of year. Sometimes this can include preparing gifted children for interaction with vocal relatives who might not understand their strong personality or expression of gifts. This can include reactive adults as well as cousins who may not see the exceptional child very often and are not used to how he or she may act.
In addition, if gift giving is part of a family’s celebration, the exceptional child may receive general presents from games or a few chosen by relatives who are not aware of the child’s capabilities and preferences. Ensuring that the gifted child understands this and should consider social norms in their reactions can help make for a smoother experience.
Preparing gifted children for the stresses of travel, unfamiliar rooms and places, new odors, and foods to which he or she may not be acquainted is all part of this preparation. Conduct dry runs if possible, and contact hosting relatives to gather as much information as possible so that you and your child are armed with foreknowledge of what to expect from religious service expectations, family events, and sleeping arrangements.
Acknowledge When You Need Help & Ask for It
If a gifted child is doubly exceptional (exhibiting physical, learning, emotional, or other disability in addition to giftedness), alerting family to his or her special needs as far ahead as possible will help your hosts plan and clear the way for you as well as your child to feel more comfortable in new surroundings.
For example, if your gifted child is physically disabled, knowing the best path for a wheelchair in and out of a home is useful and can help ease the commotion usually associated with large numbers of people coming and going. Food sensitivities such as peanut allergies can also be addressed at this time, and parents can provide safe snacks or meals.
At this busy time of year, it can be difficult for adults to ask for or accept offers of help, since we assume that others are carrying their own burdens as well. Don’t be afraid to lean on others. If a spouse, parent, or caregiver offers assistance, parents of gifted children should feel free to accept it or ask for it.
This includes the exceptional child. Steamrolling over his or her offers to help can be isolating for the gifted child or even foster resentment in siblings if they are assigned extra tasks. If the gifted child doesn’t offer to help, assign him or her special jobs in addition to regular chores. These can present the gifted child with a new and exciting challenge in addition to providing a useful activity which can shorten your own to-do list.
For best results, these should align with the child’s giftedness. For example, if the exceptional child is artistically gifted, ask for help with cookie decorating, making gift wrap and cards, or designing tree decor. Logically exceptional children might be delighted to create a holiday schedule for family members, make a seating chart, or create address labels for holiday cards. If the child is verbally gifted, set him or her to writing early thank you notes. Or, if your gifted child is especially attached to animals, he or she can take over care of pets for the holidays.
Set & Enforce Limits
Many parents report that verbally or logically gifted children can function as “little lawyers,” able to quickly argue or reason their ways into or out of any number of situations. In extended stressful moments over the holiday season, it can be tempting to simply give in and keep the peace so as to avoid a scene in front of family or simply get out the door for events on time.
Alerting your child ahead of time to potential areas of friction or stress can help prepare the whole family. For example, if a cousin the gifted child does not get along with will be in attendance at a family gathering, remind your child that you expect him or her to be polite, but to play for an extended period of time with the cousin is not mandatory.
Setting limits applies to adults in the family as well. Maintaining schedules as normal as possible can help keep everyone in synch. Establishing priorities before the season begins – picking and choosing between activities and gatherings – can help streamline schedules and conserve everyone’s energy. Consult with your spouse, the gifted child, and his or her siblings to find out what they’d most like to do. Avoiding potential problems before they begin is an excellent strategy for easing stress and tension.
Don’t Forget to Prioritize Self-Care
If self-care is built into a schedule, it’s easier to attend to it. Sleep and exercise tend to be the first sacrifices when life becomes crammed with a string of events, tasks, and preparations. Caregivers and parents who take care of themselves first will in turn be more present for spouses and other family members. Releasing stress through exercise can help any parent both physically as well as mentally, Even if this just involves talking an afternoon walk to check out your neighborhood’s Christmas decorations, that counts as movement.